Researchers warn against using ChatGPT for flirting and dating communication

The Conversation published a commentary by researchers warning against the use of AI tools such as ChatGPT to conduct flirtatious or dating communication. According to the authors of their research, delegating emotionally charged tasks—whether flirting, apologizing, or offering condolences—to AI causes a person to miss the moment in which formulating their own words could help them clarify what they actually feel and what they value in life or in a relationship. The authors draw on an idea from philosopher Talbot Brewer, according to whom the very effort to name one's own emotions reveals what matters to a person.

The text points to a similarity with the phenomenon known as "cognitive debt," in which students produce a high-quality assignment thanks to AI but remember nothing of it at exam time—analogously, a person might not be able to explain what they actually "said" in a conversation with a potential partner. The authors also mention privacy risks (flirtatious messages could end up as part of AI training data) and the risk that AI inaccurately represents the person, which the other party may perceive as deception. They also reference research showing that people tend to uncritically accept an AI's first suggestion and take on its biases as well.

The authors stress that this is not a categorical rejection of using AI in emotional situations—they give the example of communicating with a manipulative or difficult person, where AI can serve as a buffer. However, they recommend restraint in cases where communication is meant to reflect authentic feelings and build a genuine relationship.